Gender, sex, and sexual orientation each have their
own different spectrum.
Spectrum? What does that mean?
It means that people can identify anywhere between or outside of specific genders and sexualities.
There isn't just male or female, gay or straight, masculine or feminine. Some people are born intersex, which means they have physical characteristics of both sexes, some people identify themselves between masculine and feminine or see themselves as genderless, some people are bisexual, which means they feel attraction for more than one gender, some people feel no attraction at all. There are so many different variations of gender, sex, and sexual orientation that they come together to form a whole spectrum.
If you're not LGBT, it can be hard to understand that some people feel attraction for the same gender or identify as transgender, or the spectrum of gender and sexuality, but it's important to understand that members of the LGBT community might have a hard time understanding how non-LGBT people feel.
There isn't just male or female, gay or straight, masculine or feminine. Some people are born intersex, which means they have physical characteristics of both sexes, some people identify themselves between masculine and feminine or see themselves as genderless, some people are bisexual, which means they feel attraction for more than one gender, some people feel no attraction at all. There are so many different variations of gender, sex, and sexual orientation that they come together to form a whole spectrum.
If you're not LGBT, it can be hard to understand that some people feel attraction for the same gender or identify as transgender, or the spectrum of gender and sexuality, but it's important to understand that members of the LGBT community might have a hard time understanding how non-LGBT people feel.
Are sexuality and gender identity related?
No, they don't affect each other. No matter what gender identity you have, your sexuality and romantic orientation can be anything, and vice versa. Trans people can be gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, etc. just like gender-conforming people are.
What does "LGBT" mean?
The full acronym LGBTQIA stands for
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Transgender
Queer / Questioning
Intersex
Asexual / Ally
but most people know it as LGBT or GLBT.
LGB refers to Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual people.
LGBT Terminology
Queer - Describes any member of the LGBT community. General term for people who do not identify as cisgender or heterosexual, even if they are just questioning and aren't sure yet. It is a very useful term for questioning people who know they are LGBT, but don't have a specific term for their sexuality or gender identity.
Genderqueer - Describes any member of the LGBT community who does not conform to the gender binary (male / female). They can identify as both, neither, or a mix of the two.
Sexuality - All the aspects of attraction and sexual behavior, including sexual orientation, number of partners, intensity of attraction, romantic orientation, etc. that make up a sexual identity.
Sexual orientation - A person's sexual identity in relation to the gender or sex of the people to which they are sexually attracted. Some examples: gay, straight, bisexual.
Romantic orientation - (A person's romantic orientation is almost always the same as their sexual orientation, although it can be different.) A person's sexual identity in relation to the gender or sex of the people to which they are romantically attracted. Some examples: heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic.
Gender identity - A person's inner sense of being male, female, both, neither, or a combination of the two. Examples: trans man, cisgender woman, genderfluid.
Gender expression - How you present your gender identity to the outside world based on your clothes, hair, speech, and other behavior. Examples: masculine, feminine, androgynous.
Biological sex / birth sex - The sex you were assigned at birth based on anatomy, hormones, or chromosomes. Examples: male, female, intersex.
Homophobia - An irrational and often hurtful prejudice against or aversion towards non-heterosexual people based on the idea that everyone "should be" heterosexual, or that non-heterosexual people are "wrong" or "sick." It manifests itself in bullying of gay, lesbian, and bisexual (LGB) people, deprivation of rights, hate crimes, unequal opportunities, and other unfair / malicious ways.
Transphobia - An irrational and often hurtful aversion to transgender or gender-nonconforming people based on the idea that everyone "should be" cisgender, or that trans people are "sick." It manifests itself in the bullying of trans people, deprivation of rights, hate crimes, unequal opportunities, and other unfair / malicious ways.
Heterosexism - The harmful idea that all people are heterosexual, or that heterosexuality is the only "correct" sexuality. Manifests itself in the teaching of exclusively heterosexual curriculum, and ignoring LGB people & LGB history.
Heteronormativity - The assumption that everyone is heterosexual, typically for convenience of conversation or for easier statistics. It's usually harmless because it is used for these reasons, but it can be harmful when LGB people feel they are no longer represented. For example, a sex ed class might only teach heterosexual safety for convenience, but this becomes harmful because LGB people aren't getting education that pertains to them.
Coming out - Officially revealing to others your sexuality or gender identity.
In the closet / closeted - Having not yet come out to your peers.
"Outing" someone - Revealing to others somebody else's sexuality or gender identity without the person's permission. Can be extremely harmful because many LGBT people are rejected or even kicked out of their home simply because they are LGBT. Please, be respectful, and don't out people.
Straight / heterosexual - Describes a person who can only be sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender or sex. Examples: men attracted to women, women attracted to men.
Heteroromantic - Describes a person who can only be romantically attracted to people of the opposite gender or sex.
Gay - Describes a person who can only be sexually attracted to people of the same gender or sex. Examples: men attracted to men, women attracted to women. Can also be an umbrella term that describes anyone who does not identify as heterosexual.
Lesbian - A gay woman
Homoromantic - Describes a person who can only be romantically attracted to people of the same gender or sex.
Bisexual (Bi) - Describes a person who can be sexually attracted to two genders. Examples: men attracted to both men and women, an agender person attracted to both women and bigender people, or any other combination.
Biromantic - Describes a person who can be romantically attracted to two genders.
Pansexual (Pan) - Describes a person who can be sexually attracted to all genders, not just one or two.
Panromantic - Describes a person who can be romantically attracted to all genders.
Asexual (Ace) - Describes a person who can experience no sexual attraction or very little sexual attraction. Asexual people can have partners, contrary to what many people think, they just won't be sexually attracted to their partner(s). Asexuality has its own spectrum, with varying degrees of being asexual. Asexual people can be aromantic, heteroromantic, homoromantic, etc.
Demisexual - Describes a person who can only experience sexual attraction after forming a deep emotional or romantic bond with their partner.
Aromantic - Describes a person who can experience no romantic attraction or very little romantic attraction. Aromantic people can be asexual, heterosexual, gay, etc.
Polyamorous (Poly) - Describes a person who can be in a relationship with multiple partners at a time. Not all polyarmorous relationships are the same. In fact, there are many different traits and relationships a poly person can have. The person's partners may be in a relationship with each other or with other people or not, depending on whether they themselves are polyamorous or not. Polyamorous people also don't always have the same types of relationships with each partner. For example, a polyamorous person may be married and have a deep romantic bond with their spouse, but also have someone they are seeing every so often. Polyamorous people don't have to be in any relationships at all in order to be poly, just like everyone else doesn't have to be in a relationship to know they only want one partner at a time. Polyamorous people can have any gender, sexual orientation, and romantic orientation. Being poly is different from cheating on your partner because in a healthy polyamorous relationship, everyone in the relationship is aware of and alright with the relationship. You may have heard the term "polygamy" before. Polygamy is typically characterized by a man having multiple wives. The term is usually thought of as a negative term, because in many polygamous marriages, members of the marriage have been forced into it.
Cisgender (Cis) - Describes someone whose gender identity matches their birth sex.
Transgender (Trans) - Describes a person whose gender identity does not match their birth sex, or a person who identifies as both male & female or neither male nor female. You may have heard the term "transgendered," but this term is considered offensive because it makes being transgender sound like a disease.
Non-binary - Describes a person whose gender identity does not conform to the binary (male / female).
Androgynous / gender-neutral - Having no preferred single gender. Can identify as any gender. (When it comes to gender, they are neutral. Gender-neutral.) Also applies to gender expression.
Bigender - Describes a person who identifies as two genders (often both male and female), either both at the same time or alternating between them.
Genderfluid - Describes a person whose gender identity changes over time, often from day-to-day, or over months, for example.
Agender - Describes a person who does not identify as having a gender. They are genderless.
Transitioning - The medical, social, and legal process of transgender people changing their body, name, pronouns, expression, and official records to better match their gender identity. Not all transgender people choose to transition, and even fewer have the ability to transition. Physical transitioning involves taking hormones that basically cause a second puberty (or alter the path of puberty for children who are transitioning) and / or having surgeries that alter the chest and reproductive anatomy (some transgender people may also get surgeries that alter the face and other parts of the body to better match their gender identity). Transitioning socially almost always comes before transitioning physically, but they may come at the same time. Transitioning is very important for trans people because they almost always feel uncomfortable and depressed with their body and gender expression because they don't match their gender identity.
Dysphoria - Physical dysphoria is feeling uncomfortable because your birth sex does not match your gender identity, or feeling that your body is not right for you because it does not match your gender identity. Social dysphoria is feeling uncomfortable with how your gender is perceived by others.
Misgendering someone - To incorrectly state or imply that someone's gender is different than their actual gender identity by directly stating it, using the wrong pronouns or the wrong name, invoking their birth sex, or forcing them to express their gender in a way that does not match their gender identity. It can be harmless if it is an accident, but if it is repeated and intentional, it can even qualify as bullying. Examples: calling a trans man "miss," telling a gender-neural person to "pick a gender."
Intersex - A general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. (source: www.isna.org) Intersex people may choose to have surgeries or not. Intersex people can have a gender identity that is anywhere on the spectrum.
LGBT ally - A person who supports LGBT people, their rights, and their causes, whether they are LGBT or not. Be an ally!
Genderqueer - Describes any member of the LGBT community who does not conform to the gender binary (male / female). They can identify as both, neither, or a mix of the two.
Sexuality - All the aspects of attraction and sexual behavior, including sexual orientation, number of partners, intensity of attraction, romantic orientation, etc. that make up a sexual identity.
Sexual orientation - A person's sexual identity in relation to the gender or sex of the people to which they are sexually attracted. Some examples: gay, straight, bisexual.
Romantic orientation - (A person's romantic orientation is almost always the same as their sexual orientation, although it can be different.) A person's sexual identity in relation to the gender or sex of the people to which they are romantically attracted. Some examples: heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic.
Gender identity - A person's inner sense of being male, female, both, neither, or a combination of the two. Examples: trans man, cisgender woman, genderfluid.
Gender expression - How you present your gender identity to the outside world based on your clothes, hair, speech, and other behavior. Examples: masculine, feminine, androgynous.
Biological sex / birth sex - The sex you were assigned at birth based on anatomy, hormones, or chromosomes. Examples: male, female, intersex.
Homophobia - An irrational and often hurtful prejudice against or aversion towards non-heterosexual people based on the idea that everyone "should be" heterosexual, or that non-heterosexual people are "wrong" or "sick." It manifests itself in bullying of gay, lesbian, and bisexual (LGB) people, deprivation of rights, hate crimes, unequal opportunities, and other unfair / malicious ways.
Transphobia - An irrational and often hurtful aversion to transgender or gender-nonconforming people based on the idea that everyone "should be" cisgender, or that trans people are "sick." It manifests itself in the bullying of trans people, deprivation of rights, hate crimes, unequal opportunities, and other unfair / malicious ways.
Heterosexism - The harmful idea that all people are heterosexual, or that heterosexuality is the only "correct" sexuality. Manifests itself in the teaching of exclusively heterosexual curriculum, and ignoring LGB people & LGB history.
Heteronormativity - The assumption that everyone is heterosexual, typically for convenience of conversation or for easier statistics. It's usually harmless because it is used for these reasons, but it can be harmful when LGB people feel they are no longer represented. For example, a sex ed class might only teach heterosexual safety for convenience, but this becomes harmful because LGB people aren't getting education that pertains to them.
Coming out - Officially revealing to others your sexuality or gender identity.
In the closet / closeted - Having not yet come out to your peers.
"Outing" someone - Revealing to others somebody else's sexuality or gender identity without the person's permission. Can be extremely harmful because many LGBT people are rejected or even kicked out of their home simply because they are LGBT. Please, be respectful, and don't out people.
Straight / heterosexual - Describes a person who can only be sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender or sex. Examples: men attracted to women, women attracted to men.
Heteroromantic - Describes a person who can only be romantically attracted to people of the opposite gender or sex.
Gay - Describes a person who can only be sexually attracted to people of the same gender or sex. Examples: men attracted to men, women attracted to women. Can also be an umbrella term that describes anyone who does not identify as heterosexual.
Lesbian - A gay woman
Homoromantic - Describes a person who can only be romantically attracted to people of the same gender or sex.
Bisexual (Bi) - Describes a person who can be sexually attracted to two genders. Examples: men attracted to both men and women, an agender person attracted to both women and bigender people, or any other combination.
Biromantic - Describes a person who can be romantically attracted to two genders.
Pansexual (Pan) - Describes a person who can be sexually attracted to all genders, not just one or two.
Panromantic - Describes a person who can be romantically attracted to all genders.
Asexual (Ace) - Describes a person who can experience no sexual attraction or very little sexual attraction. Asexual people can have partners, contrary to what many people think, they just won't be sexually attracted to their partner(s). Asexuality has its own spectrum, with varying degrees of being asexual. Asexual people can be aromantic, heteroromantic, homoromantic, etc.
Demisexual - Describes a person who can only experience sexual attraction after forming a deep emotional or romantic bond with their partner.
Aromantic - Describes a person who can experience no romantic attraction or very little romantic attraction. Aromantic people can be asexual, heterosexual, gay, etc.
Polyamorous (Poly) - Describes a person who can be in a relationship with multiple partners at a time. Not all polyarmorous relationships are the same. In fact, there are many different traits and relationships a poly person can have. The person's partners may be in a relationship with each other or with other people or not, depending on whether they themselves are polyamorous or not. Polyamorous people also don't always have the same types of relationships with each partner. For example, a polyamorous person may be married and have a deep romantic bond with their spouse, but also have someone they are seeing every so often. Polyamorous people don't have to be in any relationships at all in order to be poly, just like everyone else doesn't have to be in a relationship to know they only want one partner at a time. Polyamorous people can have any gender, sexual orientation, and romantic orientation. Being poly is different from cheating on your partner because in a healthy polyamorous relationship, everyone in the relationship is aware of and alright with the relationship. You may have heard the term "polygamy" before. Polygamy is typically characterized by a man having multiple wives. The term is usually thought of as a negative term, because in many polygamous marriages, members of the marriage have been forced into it.
Cisgender (Cis) - Describes someone whose gender identity matches their birth sex.
Transgender (Trans) - Describes a person whose gender identity does not match their birth sex, or a person who identifies as both male & female or neither male nor female. You may have heard the term "transgendered," but this term is considered offensive because it makes being transgender sound like a disease.
Non-binary - Describes a person whose gender identity does not conform to the binary (male / female).
Androgynous / gender-neutral - Having no preferred single gender. Can identify as any gender. (When it comes to gender, they are neutral. Gender-neutral.) Also applies to gender expression.
Bigender - Describes a person who identifies as two genders (often both male and female), either both at the same time or alternating between them.
Genderfluid - Describes a person whose gender identity changes over time, often from day-to-day, or over months, for example.
Agender - Describes a person who does not identify as having a gender. They are genderless.
Transitioning - The medical, social, and legal process of transgender people changing their body, name, pronouns, expression, and official records to better match their gender identity. Not all transgender people choose to transition, and even fewer have the ability to transition. Physical transitioning involves taking hormones that basically cause a second puberty (or alter the path of puberty for children who are transitioning) and / or having surgeries that alter the chest and reproductive anatomy (some transgender people may also get surgeries that alter the face and other parts of the body to better match their gender identity). Transitioning socially almost always comes before transitioning physically, but they may come at the same time. Transitioning is very important for trans people because they almost always feel uncomfortable and depressed with their body and gender expression because they don't match their gender identity.
Dysphoria - Physical dysphoria is feeling uncomfortable because your birth sex does not match your gender identity, or feeling that your body is not right for you because it does not match your gender identity. Social dysphoria is feeling uncomfortable with how your gender is perceived by others.
Misgendering someone - To incorrectly state or imply that someone's gender is different than their actual gender identity by directly stating it, using the wrong pronouns or the wrong name, invoking their birth sex, or forcing them to express their gender in a way that does not match their gender identity. It can be harmless if it is an accident, but if it is repeated and intentional, it can even qualify as bullying. Examples: calling a trans man "miss," telling a gender-neural person to "pick a gender."
Intersex - A general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. (source: www.isna.org) Intersex people may choose to have surgeries or not. Intersex people can have a gender identity that is anywhere on the spectrum.
LGBT ally - A person who supports LGBT people, their rights, and their causes, whether they are LGBT or not. Be an ally!
Questioning Gender and Sexuality
Many people go through stages of questioning whether they are a part of the LGBT community. Some decide that they are, some decide that they aren't, and some remain unsure. There is no need to find a specific label for your gender identity or sexuality if you find that it deviates from the norm, especially if you determine that you can't find a category which describes you accurately, although some people enjoy having a label to help themselves and others understand. The LGBT vocab section above can help you find a name for a specific gender identity or sexuality, if you're curious.
Self-discovery is an internal, personal process that usually takes quite some time and takes careful thought and sometimes experimentation. People usually begin questioning their sexuality / gender identity when they're in their teenage years, although some realize it much earlier, and some much later. People don't have to be sexually active to know their sexual orientation - feelings and emotions are as much a part of one's identity. Nobody can figure it out for you; only you can figure it out for yourself based on your own thoughts and feelings.
Self-discovery is an internal, personal process that usually takes quite some time and takes careful thought and sometimes experimentation. People usually begin questioning their sexuality / gender identity when they're in their teenage years, although some realize it much earlier, and some much later. People don't have to be sexually active to know their sexual orientation - feelings and emotions are as much a part of one's identity. Nobody can figure it out for you; only you can figure it out for yourself based on your own thoughts and feelings.
Understanding the Spectrum
Gender and sexuality are spectra ("spectra" is the plural of "spectrum"), but they can also be fluid, and there are also exceptions such as asexual, agender, and gender-neutral that are off the spectrum, but each have their own spectra, such as the Asexual Spectrum below:
The asexual spectrum
Ever heard of the Kinsey Scale?
The Kinsey Scale is an example of the sexuality spectrum. It's way of describing sexuality based on sexual behaviors. It ranges from strictly heterosexual through bisexual to strictly homosexual, with multiple combinations in-between. Each stage on the scale is given a number from 0-6 to help the viewer communicate to others more easily and more clearly their sexual orientation (for example, instead of saying "Well, I do like girls, but I'm also a little into guys...", it's easier to say "I'm a (#) on the Kinsey Scale.")
The Kinsey Scale is not a perfect measurement, because it only takes into account sexual behavior and not feelings that haven't been acted upon, but it is a good estimate.
The Kinsey Scale is not a perfect measurement, because it only takes into account sexual behavior and not feelings that haven't been acted upon, but it is a good estimate.
What about asexuality? The asexual spectrum is shown above this spectrum, but on the Kinsey Scale, asexuality is not represented by a number, but by an X (which means no sexual preferences).
0 and 1 are the most common numbers on the Kinsey Scale, but the majority of people identify their sexuality as a higher number than 0.
0 and 1 are the most common numbers on the Kinsey Scale, but the majority of people identify their sexuality as a higher number than 0.
Fluidity of gender and sexuality
Fluidity of gender identity or sexuality means they can change from day to day or over longer periods of time. Only a few people have sexualities and genders that are are fluid, but not all genders and sexualities are set in stone.
Umbrella Terms
"Trans" is an umbrella term, encompassing everyone who does not conform to the binary, or whose gender identity is different than their birth/biological sex. Can also include intersex people, whose birth sex can be ambiguous.
|
"Gay" can also be an umbrella term, encompassing everyone who does not identify as heterosexual/heteroromantic, or anyone who identifies as polyamorous. It can also encompass the asexual spectrum.
|
Gender and Sexuality Symbols
Prounouns
Pronouns are used as replacements or substitutes for nouns. She, herself, it, and this are examples of pronouns. Gender pronouns are pronouns used to refer to someone, which vary to match the person's gender.
Why are pronouns significant in the LGBT community? In English and many other languages, the pronouns used to refer to someone take on a gender depending on the person's gender. Unfortunately, the only gender-neutral human pronoun English has is "they," which, grammatically, refers to a group of people. Gender-neutral or nonbinary people have made use of the pronoun "they" as a singular pronoun (ex: "I just talked to Sam. They're cool.") and also created other pronouns that better fit their gender identity.
Why are pronouns significant in the LGBT community? In English and many other languages, the pronouns used to refer to someone take on a gender depending on the person's gender. Unfortunately, the only gender-neutral human pronoun English has is "they," which, grammatically, refers to a group of people. Gender-neutral or nonbinary people have made use of the pronoun "they" as a singular pronoun (ex: "I just talked to Sam. They're cool.") and also created other pronouns that better fit their gender identity.
It's important to make sure you use the right pronouns because gender-neutral or androgynous people often feel uncomfortable being categorized as either male or female by use of the pronouns "he" or "she." For trans people, it's very important that you use the pronoun that corresponds with their gender, not their biological sex or birth sex. Some people might not care what pronouns you use, some people might care very much. If you're not sure what pronouns to use, you can always ask (politely)!
Using correct gender terms
If you hear incorrect terms being used, please speak up and help end transphobia.
Gender and sexuality flags
What do LGBT activists want?
You may have heard the term "the gay agenda," but I can assure you, LGBT people don't want to take over the world and corrupt children. (Well, maybe the evil masterminds do.) The goals of LGBT rights activists is generally the following:
Gay rights activists often focus on preserving the right for two people of the same gender to marry, protecting the jobs of gay people, and fighting back against hate crimes, bullying, and disowning.
Trans rights activists also fight back against hate, and have recently been working on getting trans people the right to use the bathrooms of their gender identity, but have been meeting some serious backlash from bigoted people.
- Equality
- Protection under the law
- Freedom from hate
- Freedom to express yourself
Gay rights activists often focus on preserving the right for two people of the same gender to marry, protecting the jobs of gay people, and fighting back against hate crimes, bullying, and disowning.
Trans rights activists also fight back against hate, and have recently been working on getting trans people the right to use the bathrooms of their gender identity, but have been meeting some serious backlash from bigoted people.
Why should I care about LGBT rights?
We all have a sexual orientation and a gender identity, and this shared fact means that discrimination against members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community, based on sexual orientation and / or gender identity, is an issue that transcends that community and affects all of us.
They're not just "gay" rights. They're human rights.
They're not just "gay" rights. They're human rights.
Anti-LGBT Bias
Anti-LGBT bias is all around us. Yet we tend to overlook the subtle biases — the anti-LGBT jokes, the exclusion of LGBT related-themes in curricula, even anti-LGBT name-calling. Recognizing your own biases is an important first step in becoming an ally.
Based on your responses to these questions, do you think you have realized the anti-LGBT messages pervasive in our world?
Source: glsen.org
- If someone were to come out to you as LGBT, what would your first thought be?
- How would you feel if your child came out to you as LGBT? How would you feel if your mother, father or sibling came out to you as LGBT?
- Would you go to a physician whom you thought was LGBT if they were of a different gender than you? What if they were the same gender as you?
- Have you ever been to an LGBT social event, march or worship service? Why or why not?
- Can you think of three historical figures who were lesbian, gay or bisexual? (see bottom of the page for a list of several influential people)
- Can you think of three historical figures who were transgender?
- Have you ever laughed at or made a joke at the expense of LGBT people?
- Have you ever stood up for an LGBT person being harassed? Why or why not?
- If you do not identify as LGBT, how would you feel if people thought you were LGBT?
Based on your responses to these questions, do you think you have realized the anti-LGBT messages pervasive in our world?
Source: glsen.org
What are the major challenges that LGBT people face?
- Hate crimes
- Bullying and harassment
- Online bullying
- Name-calling and use of slurs
- Abuse
- Physical, psychological, or emotional abuse
- Abuse in the home
- Lack of protection under the law
- Marriage inequality
- Risk of losing job for sexuality or gender identity
- Marriage inequality
- Restriction from adopting children on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity
- Bigoted or uneducated people
- Misclassification of healthy sexual or expressive behaviors as "illnesses"
- People who try to "correct" someone's sexuality or gender, often by subjecting them to different kinds of psychological abuse disguised as "conversion therapy" (read more below, under "What is conversion therapy and why is it bad?")
- Lack of funding for LGBT-supportive organizations
- Lack of emergency resources for LGBT youths in peril
- Unsafe schools
- Unwelcoming or hostile sports teams and discouragement from joining
- Homophobic, uneducated, or biased teachers
- Unwelcoming places of worship
- Anti-LGBT biases being tolerated or even promoted in religious circles and in places of worship
- Discrimination in public facilities
- Stores refusing service
- Lack of representation / misrepresentation of LGBT people in TV shows, movies, etc, leading to a public poorly educated about LGBT people and generating more negative bias.
- Discrimination by healthcare providers and doctors
- Refusal to perform transition surgeries or provide hormones for trans people
- Unwelcoming military forces
- Discouragement from joining
- In some countries, some sexual orientations are considered illegal
- Punishment by imprisonment or death
- Forced sterilization, institutionalization and medicalization on the basis of gender identity and sexual orientation
- Being disowned or kicked out by family
- Teen or child homelessness
- Anxiety & Self-doubt
- Depression
- Self harm and suicide
- Smoking and drug use
- Lack of LGBT-related education in health classes
- Unsafe sex, leading to STDs
- Uneducated public
- The feeling that non-heterosexual relationships are abnormal
- No information or resources for transitioning people, making it impossible to transition or leading to unhealthy transitions
Learn about suicide risk for LGBT students
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) has information about LGBT risk for suicide and organizations that help.
LGBT Statistics
According to recent statistics from the Youth Risk Behavior Survey,
Source: The Boston Globe, "Gay Teenagers Face More Bullying, Depression" by Jan Hoffman
- Students who self-identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual (LGB) are 3 times more likely than heterosexual students to have been raped.
- At least 1/3 of LGB students have been bullied on school property.
- They are twice as likely than straight students to have been threatened or injured with a weapon on school property.
- More than 40% of LGB students have seriously considered suicide.
- 29% of LGB students had made suicide attempts in the year they took the Youth Risk Behavior Survey.
- 1.3% of straight students have used heroin, while 6% of LGB students have used heroin.
Source: The Boston Globe, "Gay Teenagers Face More Bullying, Depression" by Jan Hoffman
Rejected LGBT people are...
What are families of same-sex couples like?
The families of same-sex couples are the same as families with straight parents, only it has been less common for the couple to be married because of laws and restrictions, and more difficult to have children. Same-sex couples who want to have children have a variety of options, including adoption, surrogacy, and sperm/egg donors. Because of this, it's impossible for same-sex couples to have unplanned pregnancies, and as a result, it's less common for them to have children.
Is gay love the same as straight love?
Yes, absolutely! Gay marriage activists just want the ability to marry the person they love, just like straight people do. Gay people do date, get married, go on romantic getaways, have children, etc. just like straight people do. It's a common misconception that gay people only "hook up" and can't have deep, committed relationships, but that's not true at all.
Are people born knowing they're gay?
Although people are born gay, straight, or whatever other sexuality they identify with, sexuality is something that's explored throughout your life, and some people might not even fully realize their sexual orientation until they're adults.
You might be able to find a few people who can pinpoint an event in their life that helped them realize they're gay, but for most, it was a gradual process and there isn't a distinct "realization". It's also pretty much the same as "realizing" that you're straight.
The same applies to trans people. Although some people may have known from a very young age the gender they identify with, it's typically a process of exploration that takes time.
People don't have to be sexually active to know their sexual orientation - feelings and emotions are as much a part of one's identity.
You might be able to find a few people who can pinpoint an event in their life that helped them realize they're gay, but for most, it was a gradual process and there isn't a distinct "realization". It's also pretty much the same as "realizing" that you're straight.
The same applies to trans people. Although some people may have known from a very young age the gender they identify with, it's typically a process of exploration that takes time.
People don't have to be sexually active to know their sexual orientation - feelings and emotions are as much a part of one's identity.
Can you tell if someone is gay or trans by looking at them?
Although some people might like to wear their sexualities or gender identities on their sleeve by telling everyone they encounter, you really can't tell just by looking at someone. Gay people don't "look" any different from straight people. Trans people might provide no hint of having a gender identity that's different from their biological sex, especially if they haven't started the transition process at all yet, or they may show no hint of having transitioned in the past.
It's not polite to ask things like "Are you gay?" or "Are you trans?" out of the blue, especially if that person hasn't come out or started the transitioning process yet, and it's even worse to start spreading rumors about them. If they want to tell you, they will. They're still the same person regardless.
If you want to know what pronouns a person uses, instead of just going with your best guess, listen to what pronouns their friends use when talking about the person, or simply ask the person, "What pronouns do you use?"
It's not polite to ask things like "Are you gay?" or "Are you trans?" out of the blue, especially if that person hasn't come out or started the transitioning process yet, and it's even worse to start spreading rumors about them. If they want to tell you, they will. They're still the same person regardless.
If you want to know what pronouns a person uses, instead of just going with your best guess, listen to what pronouns their friends use when talking about the person, or simply ask the person, "What pronouns do you use?"
Do people choose to be gay or trans?
No, sexuality and gender identity are not a choice. People don't choose to be gay or trans any more than people choose to be straight or cis. However, for most members of the LGBT community, it often takes time to explore and realize their gender identity or sexuality.
Is being gay or transgender a mental illness?
No. Being gay isn't a mental illness any more than being straight is a mental illness, it's just sexual preference and it isn't harmful at all. Being transgender is not a mental illness / harmful either, but it does have to do with the development of the brain. Transgender people do not identify with their birth sex because before they were born, the hormones that determine gender caused the fetus to develop a female brain & a male body or a male brain & a female body.
Homosexuality used to be listed in the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as a mental disorder, but through research, the American Psychiatric Association discovered that it was not a mental disorder at all. Unfortunately, gender dysphoria (the state of not identifying with your birth sex) is still listed in the DSM, although activists are working on removing it.
Homosexuality used to be listed in the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as a mental disorder, but through research, the American Psychiatric Association discovered that it was not a mental disorder at all. Unfortunately, gender dysphoria (the state of not identifying with your birth sex) is still listed in the DSM, although activists are working on removing it.
Is being gay or trans a phase?
No, your sexuality and gender identity are real and always stay the same, no matter what they are.
How to be respectful of trans people:
- Don't ask what their "real" name or "real" gender is. Their real name is the name they use, their real gender is who they are inside.
- Don't ask who they "used to be." They always had their gender identity. They "used to be" exactly who they are now. And it's often very rude to bring up a transgender person's past name, pronouns, expression, etc. before they transitioned to their true gender identity. Always be sure to use their current name and pronouns.
- Don't label people for them. A person who is exploring their gender identity might take a long time to figure out what their gender identity is, because it's a personal exploration. Don't say things like, "You're not sure? I think you're agender." Don't expect them to have it all figured out just because they know they don't conform to the binary.
- Don't ask them if they've had "the surgery" yet, or ask when they will. It's a personal event, why force them to talk about it? Additionally, some trans people choose not to have surgeries, or are unable to access those resources because they're being discriminated against by healthcare providers, or they're afraid they might receive harsh backlash for transitioning.
- Don't ask them to "pick a gender." It's very rude to ask things like, "You're trans? Are you a man or a woman?" Trans is an umbrella term which means you don't conform to the gender binary.
- Don't call them by the wrong name / pronouns intentionally.
- If you accidentally use the wrong name / pronouns, apologize and correct yourself.
- If you accidentally use the wrong name / pronouns, apologize and correct yourself.
- Don't use slurs, no matter who you're around.
- Don't say hurtful "compliments" like: "You look just like a real woman" or "I'd date him, even though he's trans." You might think that you're being polite, but by saying things like that, you're implying that you think trans people aren't "real," or that being trans makes people undesirable. Be careful about your compliments.
- Don't "out" people (don't tell others about somebody else's gender identity or birth sex without the person's permission) Examples of "outing" people: "Hey, I just found out that Sam identifies as a woman!" "Did you know that Susan was actually born male?" Outing people can be catastrophic, because coming out is a delicate and personal choice made by the LGBT person. LGBT people risk rejection, loss of job, violence, etc. if they come out, so many choose to keep their identities hidden.
- If you don't already know, ask what pronouns they use. Don't assume just by how they look.
What does it mean to be an ally?
- Supporting LGBT rights
- Fighting for equality
- Saying something or stepping in when you see bullying or harassment
- Saying something or stepping in when you see homophobia or transphobia
- Offering your own help or the help of others to LGBT people struggling with depression or home crises
- Providing resources to help LGBT people, such as better sex ed or the medical resources to transition
- Respecting others' sexualities and gender identities, even if you don't understand them
- Respecting pronouns and names
- Not using slurs, and discouraging others from using slurs
- Offering a word of support for someone in the face of homophobia and transphobia
- Treating others the way you'd want to be treated
What is conversion therapy, and why is it bad?
"Conversion therapy" is psychological treatment or spiritual counseling designed to change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity to what is considered "normal" or "correct." Not only is it completely ineffective and an example of how poorly the public has been educated about LGBT people, it is extremely harmful and even psychologically abusive. The techniques used in conversion therapy involve attempts at hypnosis, sexual reconditioning, forced gender expressions, forced self-harm, physical abuse from others, and even electric shock treatment.
Victims of conversion therapy struggle with PTSD, depression, self-hatred and shame, high-risk sexual behaviors, problems forming relationships, feelings of anger and betrayal, loss of faith, anxiety, a sense of dehumanization, and are more likely to attempt suicide and use drugs. Conversion therapy has, in some cases, resulted in suicides. There is no proof that conversion therapy has ever worked, making it a needless and extremely harmful form of abuse. Please read more at NCLRights.org
Being gay or trans is not a mental illness, a character defect, or anything to be ashamed of. Instead, it should be celebrated. If you are being subjected to conversion therapy or fear that you might be, or if you feel you are at risk of suicide, get help at www.thetrevorproject.org as soon as possible.
Victims of conversion therapy struggle with PTSD, depression, self-hatred and shame, high-risk sexual behaviors, problems forming relationships, feelings of anger and betrayal, loss of faith, anxiety, a sense of dehumanization, and are more likely to attempt suicide and use drugs. Conversion therapy has, in some cases, resulted in suicides. There is no proof that conversion therapy has ever worked, making it a needless and extremely harmful form of abuse. Please read more at NCLRights.org
Being gay or trans is not a mental illness, a character defect, or anything to be ashamed of. Instead, it should be celebrated. If you are being subjected to conversion therapy or fear that you might be, or if you feel you are at risk of suicide, get help at www.thetrevorproject.org as soon as possible.
Influential LGBT Activists You Should Know
Source: Wikipedia.org
Harvey Milk
Openly gay city supervisor of San Francisco, California and rights activist who was assassinated (along with mayor George Moscone) in 1978 by Dan White. In 2002, Milk was called "the most famous and most significantly open LGBT official ever elected in the United States". |
Frank Kameny
Most notably participated in the push for the American Psychological Association to remove homosexuality from its list of mental disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). |
Geena Rocero
Transgender model and advocate; founder of Gender Proud, an advocacy and aid organization that stands up for the rights of transgender people all over the world. |
Ruth Simpson
Founder of the first lesbian community center, author, and former president of Daughters of Bilitis, New York. The Daughters of Bilitis, also called the DOB or the Daughters, was the first lesbian civil and political rights organization in the United States. |
Audre Lorde
Caribbean-American writer, radical feminist, womanist, lesbian, and civil rights activist. Her poems and prose largely dealt with issues related to civil rights, feminism, and the exploration of black female identity. |
Dan Savage
With his husband Terry Miller, founded the powerful It Gets Better Project. It Gets Better lets LGBT youth know that life will get better as they get older, and tries to make a better world for future LGBT generations. |
Laverne Cox
Actress, reality television star, television producer, and LGBT advocate. She is best known for her role on the Netflix television series Orange Is the New Black, for which she became the first openly transgender person to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award. |
Martina Navratilova
Czech and American tennis player. She was one of the first openly gay athletes. Constantly speaking out for LGBT rights, she gave up millions in endorsements and sponsorships. In 2005, Tennis magazine selected her as the greatest female tennis player for the years 1965 through 2005. |
Kate Bornstein
Author, experimental performer, actress, and LGBTQ activist. She was assigned male at birth, and now describes herself as non-binary gendered, e.g. midway between male and female. She is the author of the seminal transgender manifesto Gender Outlaw. |
Rae Spoon
Gender-neutral musician, and author of the book Gender Failure. Spoon has been a prominent advocate for the acceptance of "they" as a singular pronoun, for the purpose of allowing more flexibility and anonymity regarding gender identity. |
Sylvia Rivera
American gay liberation and transgender activist and drag queen. She was a founding member of both the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance. |
Marsha P. Johnson
African-American drag queen and gay liberation activist. She was a veteran of the Stonewall riots. Later in life, Johnson became an AIDS activist with ACT UP. Johnson has been identified as one of the first to fight back in the clashes with the police amid the Stonewall riots. |
Stormé DeLarverie
A lesbian activist whose scuffle with police was one of the defining moments of the Stonewall uprising, spurring the crowd to action. She is remembered as a gay civil rights icon and entertainer. |